Uss Defiant

What to do with a teenage boy who is defiant and tempermental.?

I have a 14yr.old boy who is ADHD,defiant and tempermental.We try to disipline him and he fights us all the way.

My son is 16 and I have been where you are. He has always been a handful and life has been an interesting ride, but a few things worked for me.
He really needed routine…everything at about the same time(when possible), change seemed very difficult for him. Use timelines when possible(ex: tell him he has 15min before you will be back to check and see if he started his chore, then a consequence if not done) Do not argue with a teen….you will never win….barganing works better. Give him choices instead of orders so he feels like he has some control but not too many because that will overwhelm him. Praise his attributes(sometimes hard to find) and approach him positively….they sense fear and uncertainty and our moods seem to carry over. Try to keep things low key…household noise, T.V., can make things more intense. Diet is key….cut back on sugars…try a healthy menu and healthy snacks.
All of these things do work but are time consuming and take consistancy…your son will benefit.
I’m sure it sounds like I’m a totally passive parent but the ‘do as I say’ parenting doesn’t work with certain children…I learned the hard way.
My son is no angel but things are manageable and much happier here. Remember that under all that bluster and rage is a scared kid who needs help with self control and needs your strength and love no matter how much it seems that he hates it.

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